Thursday
Sep112008
A guy named Clem
Thursday, September 11, 2008 at 17:58
My weekend getaways may sound quaint, but they have their twists and
turns.
We could either walk a few miles back in the dark or catch a ride with a tall drunk local guy named Clem, who was having trouble focusing.
Clem seemed nice enough and he even had a big truck. But he was very drunk. My best friend had an idea. "Say, Clem, could you give a couple of gals a ride home? I would love to try shifting the gears on this big baby. What do you say, Clem? Can I drive her?"
Clem was way too far gone to dispute female charm and logic. His inner self must have told him he could easily smash into a tree on the way back. Clem laughed and said "Well, ok, if you think you can handle driving it and by the way my six month old dirty laundry is in the front seat"
Find our way, of course, to the local dive bar. Outside are a row of
Harleys and Choppers.
Everyone out back listening to a heavy metal cover band that sounded like
crap and eating fried food and drinking beer. No surprise there.
Looked like fun to me. Not really. After a few hours of eating and
conversing with my ear plugs in, we suspected we should be getting back to the
hotel. The only problem was that we did not take the car and the
one taxi driver in town did not pick up his phone.
We could either walk a few miles back in the dark or catch a ride with a tall drunk local guy named Clem, who was having trouble focusing.
Clem seemed nice enough and he even had a big truck. But he was very drunk. My best friend had an idea. "Say, Clem, could you give a couple of gals a ride home? I would love to try shifting the gears on this big baby. What do you say, Clem? Can I drive her?"
Clem was way too far gone to dispute female charm and logic. His inner self must have told him he could easily smash into a tree on the way back. Clem laughed and said "Well, ok, if you think you can handle driving it and by the way my six month old dirty laundry is in the front seat"
We hoisted ourselves into the truck and snuggled into the front seat of
Clem's two toned pickup with the wood for kindling in the back. Clem nicely
squirted a little Axe (that nasty smelling cheap men's spray to cover up bad
body odor) on the dashboard, apologizing for the smell of musty socks and
underwear.
My friend jumped up into the driver seat and hit the clutch and put it into
first gear. Clem yelled "We don't use no first gear here" After a brief
but spasmodic ride into town and then down the mountain to the hotel we thanked
him and let him drive himself home. Not before he yelled "Get out of my
truck, I don't know if this was the best or the worst night of my
life."
Oh well. "Drive safely" I yelled as I fell out of the truck.
Reader Comments (4)
Thanks Lori.
It was a fun night.
We had the props with us.
I carry them with me all the time.
LVB