Where's my personal Jet Pack?

Look no more. It has finally arived. See video in last post. I have been waiting for this day since the Jetsons. I assumed back then I would be flying to the gym by 1992, the latest. I'm not sure of the cost of a personal jetpack, but I am sure it is very expensive. Once the price comes down, I will be the first to have one. I will be one of those strange people who wait on those long lines for the latest IPhone. Can't wait to fly out of the store.

Below is an email a jetpack fan sent me. I even found a website where you can order yours today. Jetpack International

"I am sick and tired of waiting for the personal jet packs we were promised when we were growing up in the 60’s! All those black and white films I saw in school of what the future would be like INCLUDED PERSONAL JET PACKS! It’s 40 fucking years later and even our cars still require that WE STEER THEM (also a lie from those films about the future).

The only “big” invention of the future we’ve gotten so far is the fucking SEGWAY. It’s a SCOOTER, dude! We had scooters in the 60’s! “Ooh! You can stand on it!” You can stand on a fucking scooter too, ass! Yeah, but, it won’t fall over no matter what!” A scooter is only THREE INCHES FROM THE GROUND, dumbass. FALLING over was never like, my primary concern.

I am sick and tired of sitting in traffic FOR HOURS. I have been living with it for twenty years. In 1980, TWENTY years after the promise of a personal jet pack that would fly you anywhere in a minute, I was still sitting in bumper to bumper traffic. But, I thought, just hang in there, SOON, they will have personal jet packs, FOR SURE by the year 1992. Now here it is 2003! It’s the fucking twenty first century dude!

And to the inventor of the Segway, and Bill Gates who I’M SURE had something to do with it, because he’s a dick! You should have your bare asses WHIPPED for trying to create a big stir about the SEGWAY before it came out by saying shit like: IT WILL CHANGE THE WAY WE LIVE. That LED ME TO BELIEVE: PERSONAL JET PACK!!!! NEVER NEVER NEVER CLAIM that AN ELECTRIC SCOOTER will change SHIT!!!! IT’S A FUCKING SCOOTER! When we can FLY TO WORK. THAT WILL CHANGE THE WAY I LIVE. WHEN WE CAN DRINK BEER AND EAT CANDY AND LOSE WEIGHT, THAT WILL CHANGE THE WAY WE LIVE. WHEN I CAN GET A FUCKING HUMAN BEING ON THE GODDAMN TELEPHONE AT THE FUCKING DMV/PHARMACY/CABLE COMPANY THAT WILL CHANGE THE WAY I LIVE. -- NOT A SCOOTER!

And stop trying to make it seem cool to have a Segway. IT’S NOT. Dick Tracy (written in the fucking 1930’s) had a FLYING Jet pack, not a scooter, buttwipe It FLEW! In 1930! That’s before we had MICROWAVE OVENS and penicillin, and organ transplants. 73 years ago! I want my personal jet pack! WHER IS MY PERSONAL JET PACK! Everyone, if you email congress and tell them to quit throwing away that dumb ass money on science and funnel it to flying jet pack research, WE CAN MAKE THIS HAPPEN!!!

PERSONAL JET PACK!!!!!!!"

Comments

[frank]

The first time that i saw a jetpack was in the movie Thunderball starting Sean Connery.
You'll look really hot with a jetback Lori.

[Tanuki]

Thunderball is a great movie. Just imagine being able to jetpack from Jersey to Manhattan every day at up to 83 miles per hour using that H-73 model, or whatever. That's if Homeland Security don't shoot you down, of course.