Candy Pills and the Buscemi Debate
Monday, March 26, 2007 at 13:27 This weekend was the Racoon Lodge's 25th anniversary party. Not sure if I should go. Janet talks me into it. First stop by to see Arthur. He was with his 3 year old daughter. She is a very smart, adorable child, sort of like a mini-adult. Amelia grew up around adults because her father is in the bar and restaurant business.
First thing Amelia asked me was do I have any gum.
"Is that your favorite candy?"
"Yes, gum is my favorite candy."
"What is your favorite flavor gum?"
"I like chocolate the best."
"Oh that's funny, that is my favorite gum too."
"Can I open your bag and go through it and see what you have in there."
"Sure you can."
Amelia sees my pill stash stored in a candy mints tin and wants one.
She insists. I try to distract her, but I can't. My entire bag is emptied on the table. Now she wants to see my drawing that I did on the restaurant table. Crayons are left on the table for bored adults like me.
"Oh, I like that drawing."
Thanks, Amelia."
"I'm going to draw a woman just like that."
She begins to draw and then adds the beard and mustache onto the woman's face just like my drawing. This was getting weird. I move her to Janet's side and now she is inside Janet's bag, which was ten times more insane than mine. Amelia's head almost explodes with excitement
Left there and headed to the Racoon Lodge party. It was raining and not as crowded as it could have been. Shots ordered, drinks brought to Janet and myself. It's going to be a long night. Some guys were playing poker. I spoke to them for a while and apparently they make tons of money gambling at online poker sites. Amazing. This one guy told me he was flown for free to Copenhagen, Paris, Aruba, Las Vegas and a few more places for free to play. What a racket. I have to think about this one. Vinnie the bartender starts sticking his tongue into a blonde, stripper looking woman's mouth with huge collagen injected lips. I watch this for a while. This was just the beginning of their making out over the bar.
I met a guy who looked just like Steve Buscemi.
"Do you know who you look like?"
"Yes, I do."
"OK, who then?"
"Steve Buscemi."
I agree, he looks just like him. Then he turns to Janet.
"Do I look like Steve Buscemi?"
"No Buscemi is ugly and you are cute."
"See Lori thinks I'm ugly."
"No I do not. I think Buscemi is interesting looking and has a nice appeal"
"I"m ugly." My new friend Mike is very upset with me. I was being truthful. More drinks, more shots....more shots, more drinks. Mike walks us home because it is not far from the bar. Janet goes upstairs and pukes. I guess she drank too much. I downed 6 full glasses of club soda because there was no bottled water. I stay up another few hours and watch Curb Your Enthusiasm on Janet's On-Demand. After five episodes I decide it is very late and I have to get up sort of early for my weekly day trip with Scott. I fall asleep.
Reader Comments (1)
This was one of your funniest stories! I loved it! Especially the part about Amelia asking you & Janet to empty your bags for her. Too cute!
Jeff