Accidental panties

 One white pair of ugly underwear showed up at my door today. Joe opened the package. Why, I don't know, since it was addressed to Wendy something or another. I guess he wanted to see what was in the package. Curiosity, I guess just snooping.

"Look I got a pair of panties in the mail."

"What, what are you talking about?" "They are addressed to Wendy. I'm not Wendy. Who is Wendy?"

 

The package had the same house number, different street address. The mail person got mixed up, lost or was stoned. Remember, this is Florida. I looked in the bag and found one pair of white underwear that could have purchased at Walgreens. How can you order one pair of white cotton regular panties from a catalogue when there is a store selling underwear and everything else on every freaking corner in the country. I thought maybe Wendy was house bound and could not go out shopping or bed ridden, crippled, or handicapped. I felt terrible for her, this was awful.

Poor Wendy! So I decided that the only decent thing to do was find her house and return her cotton underwear. Joe drove ahead of me (we had met up at the gym in separate cars). It felt like we were on a secret mission. Joe is very Alpha and will not even step foot into a women's lingerie store. He was definitely not going to knock on Wendy's door to return her lost panties. I had to do it, this was my job. I hesitantly knocked on the door with the address that was on the package. I looked through the window a few times because you are allowed to do that in Florida. In New York City you would be immediately arrested for peeping. You would be booked as a peeping tom. Not here though. It is quite common and normal to do this here. I have found this out over time. 

I immediately saw two big cats in the house and one big guy without a shirt on. I quietly knocked on the door. No answer. I knocked again harder this time. Still no answer. How could they not hear me. Maybe they were deaf and could not hear the mail person at the door either. That was not entirely out of the question.

I banged this time, harder each time and still no answer. How strange this was. Finally, one last serious bang on the door and the and the door flew open.

"Hi are you Wendy?"

" Yes."

"Here are you underwear. They were sent to my house and my boyfriend opened the package. Sorry."

[The undies looked something like these , but without the pink borders]

She looked at me like I was an ax murderer and grabbed the package out of my hand, then slammed the door in my face. Oh, first she said thanks.

I keep wondering why Wendy ordered just one white cotton pair of underwear for $5.00 from a catalogue and had to have it shipped to her house when she was in perfect health. Wendy was also wearing her gym cloths and had her hair in a pony tail just like me. But why just one white plain pair of underwear Wendy, why? This is really bugging me. If it were me, I would have ordered the entire collection out of the catalogue if I would  bother to pick up the phone to place an underwear order. I find this behavior so peculiar. How lazy are you Wendy? Get a life. Maybe this is common for people to do. I do not know. No cars, stores or malls for miles and miles in South Florida. Time to return to my planet now.

Bye, bye.