Escape from New York/New Jersey - December 23, 2007

Everyone knowing I am not an early riser. Yet somehow I wind on on some ridiculous early morning flight from Newark, Newark, New Jersey. As I walk lotto my car I see a huge fire. A terrorist attack. No, Sunrise.

I board the plane and I am sitting with 280 smiling retards getting ready as I am to visit with family and trying to forget that family can make you physically ill from stress.

After a few hours we arrive in Florida. Humidity, heat and my hair immediately freezes so I look like Princess Laya (Star wars) two muffins on each side of my head. I head to baggage claim, wait longer then my flight took, and push thought the morons to get my giant red suitcase.

My luggage arrives and I am now on my way to family town America. As I walk in to the house I am told that we have 24 hours to clean the place up from a disgusting bachelor pad to a very perfect Christmas home. An almost impossible task.