Let's Talk About Lori
Wednesday, February 22, 2006 at 01:50 Here you can discuss whatever you want. The fastest message board....ever.
Hi there. Can you find me in the flower patch?
Let's gossip while she's in Hong Kong, or wherever. What's the thing you like most about Lori? For me, it's the way she jiggles. I think it's cool that she actually reads all the nonsense on her website. Where does she find the time? Has anyone ever had her as a trainer? I don't think I could focus. Do you think Lori is gay? (I don't, but makes interesting gossip.) I actually don't want Lori to become famous anymore. Media gossip is too hurtfull. I wouldn't want mean things to be said about her, not publicly, anyway. (Steinbeck after receiving the Nobel Prize received a lot of flack from critics who said he didn't deserve it. He never recovered. Lori, please reject the Nobel if it's offered!) Who's sexier, Lori Victoria Braun or Britney Spears? Let's have a poll! I just love the way Britney looks (yeah, I'm an old pervert), but I don't think I could stand her personality for more than five minutes. Lori, OTH, I think I could stand for five lifetimes. OTOH, I don't really know. But dreaming about being Lori's significant other is better than having a real relationship with about a billion other females. I think. I'm sad. Are you sad, too? Is that why you come here? What's to be sad about? We're all affluent enough to access the Internet, aren't we? Are we just a bunch of old perverts with Porsches looking for someone classy to drive around with? Some of us want mothers more than girlfriends. Girlfriends are harder to satisfy.
I do not believe in growing old. click to enlarge. Spouses are for having families or getting old, I guess. Getting old is scary. So are spouses, though. What do you think Lori's brothers think about the crazy stuff on this site? How about Lori's mom? Doe she visit here, too? Lori, how do you square this with your family and friends? I wonder about Lori's significant others, I mean, has she ever had a steady boyfriend? Is she married? Is she really lonely? Is she rich? Is it any of our business? One thing I've noticed is that Lori seems a little bossy. "Come out of the rain with that electric drill, go here, go there...don't kill it! [the spider]". Well, I guess whoever has the best roundhouse gets to call the shots. And who could ask for a cooler, more beautiful-in-every-way boss? We all need direction in our lives. Still, I'm feeling a little hemmed in, runnng everywhere at such a pace, striving, striving. Hours of editing videos and photos. Traveling everywhere. There's a little envy of the listless. And where does all this money come from? The website must be raking it in. But why? To see a bunch of women with muscles? Hey everybody has muscles, what's the big deal? Well, I'll admit that these women are special. Sell it, girls--sell it. Do you wish Lori would dress like a Woodstock hippie? With a headband and bell-bottom jeans? I noticed she already owns the belt. It's one of her favorites. She'd be so cute sucking on a roach. (Without a clip.) Maybe singe her fingers a little. Although I stopped doing drugs many years ago, I would certainly toke with Lori. How about you? I wouldn't drop acid with her, though, unless we were very, very close. In fact, I don't think any drugs would ever come into the picture if I had such a love. There would be no high equal to that in this life. Okay, well, that's enough gossip for now. Since I really don't know a damn thing about LVB, I'll just make stuff up until she gets back from Hong Kong, or wherever. Then she'll probably be really angry and maybe ban me from the forum. My gossip like the sound of gum popping. Hit over the head with a baseball bat, metaphorically, at least. Ouch! Options: Reply To This Message•Quote This Message•Report This Message Doesn't anyone have some poop on Lori to share before she gets back? 
Yes, we all did have sex that day with that bear. Well, I do. Word has it that Lori recently had sex with a bear. It was captured on video, and should be a big hit on the vlog. The bear got so excited it bit her knee, then ran off with her bicycle. I think Lori made a man out of that bear. A bicycle-riding man-bear,roaming heart-broken around the Pennsylvania mountains for weeks, beer in paw, pining for that green-eyed blonde. TW spotted him cycling down I-84 on Monday. In the end, I guess the bear really wasn't "all that". Options: Reply To This Message•Quote This Message•Report This Message Though I have no concrete evidence, and really no rational reason to believe it, I think Lori knows I popped my gum once on the streets of Canoga Park and is now out to get me for it. It was in the 80's, and everyone was doing it. I was a kid. I wasn't doing it for attention, I was just following the crowd. I thought it looked cool. I am now commited to getting Lori to pop bubblegum on her vlog. One of the most important moral lessons one can learn is to "love thy enemy", and we know Lori hates gum poppers. 
Go ahead and pop your gum all you want. You just do it for attention. I do hate it. Stop doing it please. The gesture would not only be conciliatory, but also cathartic for Lori herself. She admits she's not usually so driven to baseball-wielding anger. That's the first step toward liberation. Lori, please pop gum! As big as a balloon! Pop! Pop!
By:Tanuki
Reader Comments (6)
And music is my aeroplane"--Red Hot Chili Peppers, _Aeroplane_
"I like pleasure spiked with pain,
And Lori is my aeroplane"--me.